when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
