so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
