Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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