I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
