WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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