Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
