you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
