I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
