I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
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