do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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