good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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