Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
