Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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