some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
