I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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