Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
