I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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