i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
