all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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