Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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