margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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