this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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