i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
