remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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