we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Alive.
So much puke
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
