whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
