So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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