My brain says no but my pants say off.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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