I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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