you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize