party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
