Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
