I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
