I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
