well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
