vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
