All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize