we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
