You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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