eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
