Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
