Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
