Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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