To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
