you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
pray to the hookup gods
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
