I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
