you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
