lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
