I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
