pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
