we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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