hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
