So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
