but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I will be naked everywhere
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
